the big C

12 Sep

My mom got sick 6 years ago. She was diagnosed with ovarian cancer, stage 1C. She was lucky we were told. She had her tumor surgically removed and had to undergo 6 sessions of chemotherapy. The worst 5 months of her life.

She tried to stay positive but the excruciatingly painful side effects of the chemo destroyed and crashed her. To see a loved one go through such pain without being able to do anything about it is horrible. We all stood by and counted the minutes, the hours, the days. Her oncologist kept saying: it will get better, be brave. But it didn’t. It was hell. She promised herself she would never go through it again.

NEVER is a strong word and too often overused.

A month ago, on her routine check up, they found something. 2 Swollen lymph nodes next to the ovarian arteries.  It could be an infection they said. I had the worst feeling about it and I unfortunately proved to be right. After a PET SCAN and numerous doctors visits it has been decided that she has to be operated. Once again. We will then wait for the biopsy to see what kind of cancer it is and she will probably have to go through more chemotherapy. Once again.

I will try to honor her wish. Should she decide against the treatment I will try not to impose. I will try to stand by her choice. I will try because the thought of losing her is just so unbearable that it literally takes my breath away.

I promise I will try



2 Responses to “the big C”

  1. Gina Papaioannou September 12, 2012 at 5:30 pm #

    My thoughts are with your family and your lovely mom Tatiana. May you have strength and grace for this difficult time.
    All our love

  2. Mel September 21, 2012 at 1:16 pm #

    I have always adimired you for the rock you have always been to your family in good times and bad times. Stand by your mom once again and she will stand by you, I am sure. Hope she gets welll soon. xmel

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