just being there

21 Sep

The biopsy results are back. Unexpected good news. The swollen lymph nodes were benign. Great news. That is how everyone sees it. Everyone but my mom. The most important person. She feels tormented. She went through such unbelievable pain for no apparent reason. That is what her surgeon told her anyway.  That it was an infection…

I don’t pretend to even begin to understand what she is going through. Nobody should. Unless you have gone through the exact same thing it is just plain stupid to say that you know. You don’t know shit. That is the reality of the situation.

‘She is being ungrateful’, ‘she should be thrilled’, ‘she should be thankful that she doesn’t have to go through another chemo’. Yes, yes and yes. But…she feels like shit. She lost 10 kgs and her appetite. She can’t walk or sit or talk properly. She is under heavy medication and painkillers. She doesn’t need to hear from everyone what she should feel. She is vulnerable.

What she does need is time and understanding. We will try to make her feel loved and taken care of. Maybe this will help. Maybe it will heal her. Or maybe it will just make her feel a bit better. Just being there.

xxx

T

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