Archive | 4:25 pm

you didn’t marry your kids, you married your partner

7 Nov

A few days ago I sat down and had a drink with a fellow mom from Yiannis new school who lives just around the corner. Her kids are older, one of them has already finished school and is now studying abroad. We had an interesting discussion about the school in general, the various differences between the Greek and the German schooling systems, how our kids perceive these differences etc.

I enjoyed our discussion a lot, although at times we did not agree with each other. But that is ok. I have really learned to agree to disagree with people (I am still learning to do that with N. though).  She was direct, she did not filter as such, she just said what was on her mind. I really appreciate that. I like directness. I know where I stand with my direct friends. There is no hidden agenda. No sneaky peaky false pretends.

After an extensive talk about the school we started talking about ourselves as mothers. She told me a few things that got to me. She mentioned the importance of teaching our children to be independent. If we do EVERYTHING for them, how will they learn to do things on their own? This is a typical Greek thing almost all moms have. We are overprotective. Some are more and some are less. Then she mentioned that sooner of later a mom or a wife or a partner must not focus their whole lives on their kids. Our kids, she said, take up more or less 20 years of our lives. What happens with the rest?? What happens whey they leave our house? In which black hole will we first fall when we are left alone?

‘You didn’t marry your kids, you married your partner’. How unbelievably true. How immensely real. I may be too young (oh, I like this) to realise the depth and the full meaning of the above sentence. I thank her for reminding me to never forget the man I chose to  stand by my side. And oh boy, am I glad it is N.

xxx

T

the two men in my life

7 Nov

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