the post that changed my life

14 Nov

Back in January while I was surfing on the net to find some tutorials for my newly acquired self-taught skill, sewing, I bumped into a blog post which literally changed my (parenting) life. I laughed and cried and then laughed some more. There it was. Finally. Someone who had the nerve to speak out. Someone who did not fear to uncover the human side of motherhood. I could relate.

The feeling that I was not alone in NOT enjoying my 2 kids to the fullest made me feel normal. Human. I was able to forgive myself, I was able to let go of the guilt that was eating me up for the last two years. Society has so many expectations from us  mothers, to be perfect and loving and smiling and just simply thrilled while raising our kids 24/7. When I failed in perfectly parenting my children I went down a lonely road. A road of guilt and regret. What I didn’t realise is that this exact same guilt is what destroyed me. What made me less of a parent. There is no gain, only pain when we let our regrets take the better part of us.

This is what I have realised ever since I read this post until now. I love my kids to pieces, I would do anything for my family to keep them safe and sound. They are, mildly put, THE MOST IMPORTANT THING IN MY LIFE. But they can be a pain in the ass and when they are I am most definitely not in a constant parental bliss. As simple as that!



11 Responses to “the post that changed my life”

  1. Mel November 14, 2012 at 12:28 pm #

    Excellent point of view – very honest and refreshing for a change regarding this topic;-)

  2. ramblingsfromamum November 14, 2012 at 12:32 pm #

    To err is human…to forgive devine…
    I think you are doing a wonderful job …and you have inspired another post by reading yours.
    Tell it like it is…ALWAYS…that’s what I and others enjoy 🙂

    PS: I have nominated you for the Sisterly Love Award.

    • wonderlandbytatu November 14, 2012 at 12:45 pm #

      ohhhhhhhhh thank you so much! YOU have officially made my day! (again)

  3. momtimes4 November 14, 2012 at 4:37 pm #

    I love this post!!

  4. nothingbythebook November 15, 2012 at 12:02 am #

    I remember reading this too–it’s a great one. There’s a piece on Ask Moxie — — that looks at the difference between motherhood as job and motherhood as relationship in the same vein, you might like to read it.

    • wonderlandbytatu November 15, 2012 at 9:19 am #

      That is a great read! Thank you very much for the link!

  5. keepingitreal November 15, 2012 at 8:22 am #

    I am finally not ashamed to admit that I haven’t always enjoyed all aspects of motherhood. I too lived in hiding, constant guilt and fear of never measuring up against more “perfect” moms. In fact, I still fight the voices in my head telling me that I am less than. But like you said, there comes a time, when you have to embrace both the good and bad of parenting. Now, I put out a disclaimer to every mom I meet: “I AM a walking mess. If you’re still interested in sticking around then pull up a chair.”

    Beautiful and transparent post, T! 🙂

    • wonderlandbytatu November 15, 2012 at 8:31 am #

      That makes 2 of us 😉 For the record, I am definitely sticking around! Thank you for your kind words (as always)!

      • keepingitreal November 15, 2012 at 9:23 am #

        Diddo! I am in it for the long haul too. We’ve been kindred spirits from the start. Also, you’ve inspired me to publish a post I was reluctant for the world to see. But in the spirit of “keeping things real” I cannot hide anymore. Have a great day, I think? I am getting ready for bed now. Till tomorrow!

  6. memyselfandkids November 28, 2012 at 6:29 am #

    I think it is such a shame you were made to feel guilty.
    Any parent who can’t relate to what you wrote in your last paragraph – well, I think they are a little off. Like you, I love my children, but they certainly can be a p.i.t.a.

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