the post that changed my life

14 Nov

Back in January while I was surfing on the net to find some tutorials for my newly acquired self-taught skill, sewing, I bumped into a blog post which literally changed my (parenting) life. I laughed and cried and then laughed some more. There it was. Finally. Someone who had the nerve to speak out. Someone who did not fear to uncover the human side of motherhood. I could relate.

The feeling that I was not alone in NOT enjoying my 2 kids to the fullest made me feel normal. Human. I was able to forgive myself, I was able to let go of the guilt that was eating me up for the last two years. Society has so many expectations from us  mothers, to be perfect and loving and smiling and just simply thrilled while raising our kids 24/7. When I failed in perfectly parenting my children I went down a lonely road. A road of guilt and regret. What I didn’t realise is that this exact same guilt is what destroyed me. What made me less of a parent. There is no gain, only pain when we let our regrets take the better part of us.

This is what I have realised ever since I read this post until now. I love my kids to pieces, I would do anything for my family to keep them safe and sound. They are, mildly put, THE MOST IMPORTANT THING IN MY LIFE. But they can be a pain in the ass and when they are I am most definitely not in a constant parental bliss. As simple as that!

xxx

T

Advertisements

11 Responses to “the post that changed my life”

  1. Mel November 14, 2012 at 12:28 pm #

    Excellent point of view – very honest and refreshing for a change regarding this topic;-)

  2. ramblingsfromamum November 14, 2012 at 12:32 pm #

    To err is human…to forgive devine…
    I think you are doing a wonderful job …and you have inspired another post by reading yours.
    Tell it like it is…ALWAYS…that’s what I and others enjoy 🙂

    PS: I have nominated you for the Sisterly Love Award.

    • wonderlandbytatu November 14, 2012 at 12:45 pm #

      ohhhhhhhhh thank you so much! YOU have officially made my day! (again)

  3. momtimes4 November 14, 2012 at 4:37 pm #

    I love this post!!

  4. nothingbythebook November 15, 2012 at 12:02 am #

    I remember reading this too–it’s a great one. There’s a piece on Ask Moxie — http://www.askmoxie.org/2012/09/free-but-not-cheap.html — that looks at the difference between motherhood as job and motherhood as relationship in the same vein, you might like to read it.

    • wonderlandbytatu November 15, 2012 at 9:19 am #

      That is a great read! Thank you very much for the link!

  5. keepingitreal November 15, 2012 at 8:22 am #

    I am finally not ashamed to admit that I haven’t always enjoyed all aspects of motherhood. I too lived in hiding, constant guilt and fear of never measuring up against more “perfect” moms. In fact, I still fight the voices in my head telling me that I am less than. But like you said, there comes a time, when you have to embrace both the good and bad of parenting. Now, I put out a disclaimer to every mom I meet: “I AM a walking mess. If you’re still interested in sticking around then pull up a chair.”

    Beautiful and transparent post, T! 🙂

    • wonderlandbytatu November 15, 2012 at 8:31 am #

      That makes 2 of us 😉 For the record, I am definitely sticking around! Thank you for your kind words (as always)!

      • keepingitreal November 15, 2012 at 9:23 am #

        Diddo! I am in it for the long haul too. We’ve been kindred spirits from the start. Also, you’ve inspired me to publish a post I was reluctant for the world to see. But in the spirit of “keeping things real” I cannot hide anymore. Have a great day, I think? I am getting ready for bed now. Till tomorrow!

  6. memyselfandkids November 28, 2012 at 6:29 am #

    I think it is such a shame you were made to feel guilty.
    Any parent who can’t relate to what you wrote in your last paragraph – well, I think they are a little off. Like you, I love my children, but they certainly can be a p.i.t.a.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

to pin or not

a place to test all of my pins and let you know what I think

wonder bites by tatu

food that makes me happy

Mamatsita

Homemade recipes-Homemade Fun

Simone's Thermomix Essentials

Thermomix; Thermomix recipes; family; everyday cooking

TIME

Current & Breaking News | National & World Updates

Communicate.Grow.Flourish

Communication Tips To Help Your Relationships Flourish.

Newagemama.com

Γι΄ αυτούς που κρατούν ανοιχτούς τους λογαριασμούς τους με τη ζωή

Hungry Hannah

Delicious, Healthy Eating for Any Appetite

Loni Found Herself

Finding Myself. Finding Happiness.

homemadeadventure

Recipes and ramblings of a domestically inclined medical student

PornBurger

Burger Perverts Welcome

Ramblings From A Mum

This is my journey, my thoughts, my views, plain and simple and from my heart. Please travel with me and share, hopefully it will be an interesting trip.

Seth Adam Smith

Light in the Wilderness

Have a Yummy Day

A fine WordPress.com site

The Matt Walsh Blog

Absolute Truths (and alpaca grooming tips)

Life Aboard Two Choices

Pete & Lu's Sailing Adventures

The Clothesline

Chronicles of an overwhelmed mother

The Adventures of Fanny P.

...because life is just one big adventure...

kids recipes and organised chaos

Being a SAHM, cooking real food and learning to be organised

CROSS-SHAPED STUFF

i want to see more stuff shaped like a cross

State of Alaska

Life's a joke. Might as well laugh.

mancakes..the blog

...SYRUP ON THE SIDE.

boyeatsworld

family travel and food

Cheeni Thoughts

a lifestyle blog!

Inspirational + Awesome

Inspirational quotes, stories and videos + Awesome pictures

A Teachable Mom

Attitude. Latitude. Gratitude. One Lesson at a Time.

Meditating Mummy's Mostly Bookish Blog

I live to read, to be, to see the world ...

Our Life In Action

All you need is a little imagination

depressionexists

Sharing my experiences

everyday bits & pieces of a desperate housewife & stay-at-home mom

simplymejustbe.wordpress.com/

here's to YOU, who You have become so far, and who You have yet to BE, Simply You Just BE!

Cloudy, With a Chance of Wine

Funny stories about my functionally dysfunctional life

Used Not Confused

Fashion is Passion

Fiammisday Blog Come Vestire i Bambini

come vestire i bambini?Fiammisday, il Blog di moda per mamme e bambini che ti consiglia l’outfit giusto per ogni occasione

Roll Over and Play Dad

Everyone in this house needs to calm down

Ambitious Kitchen

Sweet Treats + Healthy Eats

Adventures with Finn

Weekly Dispatches from Dad: Exploring Life with a three year old

My Fourtography Life

four children and a photography habit to support

The World according to Dina

Notes on Seeing, Reading & Writing, Living & Loving in The North

%d bloggers like this: