Back in January while I was surfing on the net to find some tutorials for my newly acquired self-taught skill, sewing, I bumped into a blog post which literally changed my (parenting) life. I laughed and cried and then laughed some more. There it was. Finally. Someone who had the nerve to speak out. Someone who did not fear to uncover the human side of motherhood. I could relate.
The feeling that I was not alone in NOT enjoying my 2 kids to the fullest made me feel normal. Human. I was able to forgive myself, I was able to let go of the guilt that was eating me up for the last two years. Society has so many expectations from us mothers, to be perfect and loving and smiling and just simply thrilled while raising our kids 24/7. When I failed in perfectly parenting my children I went down a lonely road. A road of guilt and regret. What I didn’t realise is that this exact same guilt is what destroyed me. What made me less of a parent. There is no gain, only pain when we let our regrets take the better part of us.
This is what I have realised ever since I read this post until now. I love my kids to pieces, I would do anything for my family to keep them safe and sound. They are, mildly put, THE MOST IMPORTANT THING IN MY LIFE. But they can be a pain in the ass and when they are I am most definitely not in a constant parental bliss. As simple as that!