revisiting parenting advices vol. 1

21 Nov

In theory we are all great parents. When the actual time comes to put theory into practice that is when some of us do not quite deserve the parent of the year award. This is a short list with a few things that didn’t work with me while parenting my 2 kids (in case you are torturing yourself that you are the only parent out there who follows the best parenting advices and still fails at stopping the tantrums, fussing and whining).

  • Offer choices. Really? I always offer my kids 2 choices and they never seem to agree with any of them. I ask them: ‘What would you like for dinner? Chicken soup or yogurt with honey (not combined obviously)? Their answer is: Pasta.
  • Lower yourself to the eye level of a child. Whenever my son did not listen, I lowered myself to his eye level and usually got a slap on my face.
  • Choose the clothes he/she will wear the night before.  I helped Yianni choose his clothes yesterday night just before bedtime only for him to wake up today and have him fuss that these clothes were not the ones he really wanted to wear to school.
  • Use the preventive approach. If I tell Yianni that I had a rough day and I can not put up with more whining it is like I trigger this button inside his head which orders him to do the exact opposite of what mom says.
  • When your child throws a tantrum put him/her in time out. Remain in control and gently but firmly insist that he/she stays there. Gently??? Is there a parent out there that has any gentle feelings after having been screamed and yelled at for the last 15 to 20 minutes? If yes, please know that you have my utmost respect. For life.

And as my favourite comedian of the 80’s said: “In spite of the six thousand manuals on child raising in the bookstores, child raising is still a dark continent and no one really knows anything. You just need a lot of love and luck – and, of course, courage.”
Bill Cosby, Fatherhood

xxx

T

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9 Responses to “revisiting parenting advices vol. 1”

  1. momtimes4 November 21, 2012 at 1:03 am #

    Ha Ha! I’m not sure which one is the funniest. Probably the “Offer choices”. I learned early on to NEVER offer choices, especially when it comes to dinner.

    • wonderlandbytatu November 21, 2012 at 2:28 pm #

      then again, dinner time is the MOST challenging time, right???

      • momtimes4 November 21, 2012 at 3:29 pm #

        Oh definitely!!

  2. nothingbythebook November 21, 2012 at 4:21 am #

    Love the Cosby quote.

  3. ramblingsfromamum November 21, 2012 at 10:41 am #

    OK here are my thoughts 🙂
    Offer choices – Yup hand raised high…guilty, “What you don’t like this..how about that”. Cook ‘that’ then “What you don’t want that” Hmm what would you like 😦 Not realising they were not going to starve if I said “Bad Luck”.
    Eye Level – Wouldn’t be game for fear of getting food squished in my face.
    Choosing Clothes – Hand up again – and yes I was also told the following morning – “Nope not wearing it”
    Preventative approach- “Mum has a headache, mums tired, mums not well. Child – “Don’t care”.
    Child throwing a tanti – Nothing gentle about my approach ..though some discussion first then raised voices..then time out usually in the laundry ..coz well hell they can’t get up to much in there and were bored within 5 minutes!
    🙂
    A learning process and well we aren’t the Stepford Wives/Mothers…are we..

    • wonderlandbytatu November 21, 2012 at 2:30 pm #

      definitely NOT a Stepford wive/mother here!! But I prefer it that way. It makes me more human. I love human. It makes it more real and true xxx

  4. Ice Beautiful November 21, 2012 at 1:37 pm #

    Totally agree with Bill Cosby! Thanks for the post – even if I do not feel worse parent than the others (well, just sometimes :P) the thoughts of the other mothers do make me feel better and not alone in all these difficulties.

    • wonderlandbytatu November 21, 2012 at 2:24 pm #

      you are most welcome! If I manage to keep other moms off their guild trip I have succeeded!

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  1. Quote This: Bill Cosby on Fatherhood | Undogmatic Unschoolers - June 16, 2013

    […] of this beautiful quote a few weeks ago by Tatu at Wonderland By Tatu. Happy Father’s Day to all the wonderful fathers out there walking the path with–or […]

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