in a blink of an eye

3 Dec

Not very long ago I had this beautiful enlightening conversation with this fellow (a bit older and a lot wiser) mom who opened my eyes to a thing or two on parenting. I came home and eagerly shared all of her blunt input with N.

Apart from the fact that she reminded me that I didn’t marry my kids but I married my partner she tried to make me see how important it really is to let our kids be free. She argued that if we always take care of them and be one step ahead of them we actually teach them that they are incapable of learning to do things on their own. I realised that sometimes I am indeed the person who is a bit on the overprotective site. I decided, then and there, that I will do my best to let a bit go and even managed to convince N. too.

However, I am a strong believer of instincts and when your instinct SHOUTS at you for one reason or the other you better DAMN LISTEN.

Yesterday, N decided to let go. He did not hold Yianni’s hand while passing the street, he was just one step behind him. And then it happened. He got distracted, decided to pass the street without looking and got ALMOST ran over (ALMOST, a simple word that would forever change our lives). I saw his life passing in front of my eyes. 5 years in a blink of an eye.  My heart stopped. Or so I felt. I was numb. If N. had not shouted and stepped in front of the other car to pull Yianni away and if the car had speeded, if, if, if…I can’t even think of the if’s. It is way too painful…

To cut the story short. Forget all the mumbo jumbo parenting advices. SAFETY COMES FIRST. ALWAYS. And when it does, I don’t give a shit If I am the overprotective parent. If it saves my kids life, so be it.

xxx

T

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11 Responses to “in a blink of an eye”

  1. expatsincebirth December 3, 2012 at 10:47 am #

    Oh my, Tatu, that was a hell of a shock! You are so right: safety comes first, always. Maybe you’re not overprotective but more attentive than others? I think there is a very thin line…
    I know how it feels if friends (or even family!) give us the advice to let our children “go”. I think that teaching indipendence is one thing, but letting them really do something alone, is already one step further.
    They might be indipendent in many things, but when it comes to situations like the one you’ve experienced and there are others involved, it doesn’t only depend on our children! The situation was dangerous even for an adult.
    And as you say, sometimes our inner voice or instinct tells us what to do. We should always listen to it! And we can teach our children to be indipendent in other situations: when they are safe(r). – Big hugs.

    • wonderlandbytatu December 3, 2012 at 6:57 pm #

      thank you Ute. Big hugs are always very nurturing, es tut gut!

      • expatsincebirth December 3, 2012 at 11:19 pm #

        Solche Erfahrungen vergisst man nie. Leider…, oder zum Glück? In solchen Momenten wird einem so bewußt wie schnell sich das Leben total verändern könnte. Ich kenne das Gefühl… Alles Gute euch allen. xxx

  2. ramblingsfromamum December 3, 2012 at 10:51 am #

    OMG how terrified you must have been! My heart goes out to you!!!! You have plenty of time to gradually let your babies become independent, but safety is paramount. Children apparently have no ‘road sense’ till a minimum age of 8. They cannot judge how fast a car drives, they cannot move in time. So relieved that Yianni is safe. You be as over protective as you want T, that way you will have them around forever. When your children are older then they can learn to have the freedom, so that they then can decide for themselves what path to take….plenty of time.. take care. **Hugggs*** xxx

    • wonderlandbytatu December 3, 2012 at 6:58 pm #

      I know…My biggest wish is that I will have them around forever and my biggest fear is that I won’t. Safety must come first though. ALWAYS!

  3. gaitanaki (eliza) December 3, 2012 at 11:46 am #

    It’s a fine line, its true! Also, I take a lot of mummy-friends advice with a pinch of salt. After all, they are on a learning curve themselves and some times their parenting advice and how they do things isn’t the best but the one that derives from need and habit. I will give you a very similar example: a lot of the times we walk with my son and my friend whom has three kids. Apart from my friends baby all the other kids are on scooters. Its the trend here.I have taught my boy that when we cross the road we stop scootering and only cross holding hands. Now for my friend to do that with her kids it involves a lot of shouting on every single corner. So I see her trying to teach them to look both ways before crossing. I see them getting into it and learning which is great! And then I see their attention going half way through crossing over ON THEIR SCOOTERS and messing around. I know that her thinking comes mainly from struggling with three so I don’t follow her advice. I smile and agree when she tells me how she teaches them indipendence but my feelings are that I will carry on being strict on crossing the street even if the street has no cars and rarely sees any. What I am trying to say is keep our ears open to advice but always follow your gut feeling. Sorry for the long reply! It came out spontaneously! Take care, e

    PS. The delicate issue for us is of course explaining to our 4yo why he is not allowed to do as his friends do without offending my friend. Never a boring day is it?!

    • wonderlandbytatu December 3, 2012 at 7:07 pm #

      I LOVE long replies, don’t you worry about that 😉
      Yes, it is always pretty tricky with friends and kids. I always have a discussion with Yianni on why he is not having salami for breakfast like the other kids in the class (or white bread, or nutella, or….the list is endless).
      No, NEVER boring, tiring yes, challenging yes, wonderful yes, full 100%
      xxx
      t

  4. nothingbythebook December 3, 2012 at 4:52 pm #

    “When your instinct SHOUTS at you for one reason or the other you better DAMN LISTEN.” Yes. In parenting, and in other things, right?

  5. fiammisday December 7, 2012 at 1:53 am #

    They are so beautiful!!!!

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