the fear of the unknown

10 Dec

Today I was late in picking Yianni up from his Monday drop off. I hate being late. I am usually right on time or a split second early. The reason behind my late arrival was that I had to take a detour since the main road of the town I was passing through was closed. I started (silently) cursing and stressing out since my calculation to arrive on time went down the drain.

I wore my angry look and tried to understand why the hell the road was closed. As soon as I saw the crowd of people dressed in black walking along a long black car, it hit me. This is a funeral. I sat back in my driver’s seat and literally froze.

Whose funeral was it? Was this an old person who died? Was it a mom, a dad, or the worst of all, a child? I will never know and to be honest since it is no one close to me this is the last time I will think of it.

But…I must confess…I am terribly afraid of death. The fear of the unknown gives me the creeps. I sometimes wish that someone would tell me things like: hey you, you were incredibly lucky today. If you had left a minute earlier you would have crashed your car or something similar. I am sure there are at least a dozen of those ALMOST moments through the course of our lives. Wouldn’t we appreciate our luck more??

Yes, I am very lucky. Extremely lucky. I tend to forget this more often than I want to admit but I am thankful for these occasional reality checks, even when they only last until the next emotional meltdown followed by a ‘difficult’ parenting day





4 Responses to “the fear of the unknown”

  1. ramblingsfromamum December 11, 2012 at 11:02 am #

    I actually attended a Funeral this afternoon – so yes your sign this evening with those words and your post is very apt x

  2. memyselfandkids December 13, 2012 at 2:43 am #

    I go through phases where i think about death. I used to fear it greatly, but I am not quite as fearful now. However, I would still rather not think about it.

    • wonderlandbytatu December 13, 2012 at 10:03 am #

      I go through these phases as well. Sometimes I have them more intense (like now) and sometimes I make the thoughts go away as soon as they appear in my head. My biggest fear is that something might happen to the kids.

      • memyselfandkids December 13, 2012 at 3:47 pm #

        I think that is understandable. When I think that way, I feel sad that they would not really remember me (especially my 6 year old).

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