I suffer from high anxiety and I snowboard. It doesn’t make much sense. I know.
I started skiing when I was still a little girl and switched to snowboarding when I became a teenager (back in the 90s it was SUPER ULTRA COOL to snowboard, especially if you were a girl).
Back in the days, I was
semi fearless. I knew that heights scared the hell out of me but I was too embarrassed to admit it to my snowboarding crowd. I swallowed my fear and endured some of the scariest and steepest hills.
With time, I grew wiser. I waited for the perfect snow conditions (an icy piste is my worst snow-related nightmare) and decided to snowboard down the less steep hills.. That was my strategy. It seemed to work just fine. I thought I had (almost) managed to conquer my fear of heights. Until yesterday.
I got stuck on a narrow path down a very steep hill (the snow was perfect) and while I was struggling to get going I started looking down the hill. The more I looked, the more panicked I got. It suddenly hit me. I hadn’t experienced it for years and I had almost forgotten how terribly frightening it can actually get. I got my phone out and tried calling my friend Y. who was waiting for me further down the slope (we had lost sight of each other). I couldn’t find his number. I started panicking more. I was too scared to move. I called N. and asked him to let Y. know that he should go on without me (thank whoever is responsible for the invention of cell phones). And then I told him a very mature manner: I am stuck. I can’t move.
10 minutes later I convinced myself that I CAN do it. With trembling knees and shaky hands I started riding down the hill in a very uncool chickenischingly scared out of my mind state, but I did it. I managed to conquer my fear and move on. You know how?? I told my fear the following thing:
YOU CAN’T SCARE ME. I HAVE KIDS.
Until next time