never underestimate the power of fear

21 Feb

I suffer from high anxiety and I snowboard. It doesn’t make much sense. I know.

I started skiing when I was still a little girl and switched to snowboarding when I became a teenager (back in the 90s it was SUPER ULTRA COOL to snowboard, especially if you were a girl).

Back in the days, I was semi fearless. I knew that heights scared the hell out of me but I was too embarrassed to admit it to my snowboarding crowd. I swallowed my fear and endured some of the scariest and steepest hills.

With time, I grew wiser. I waited for the perfect snow conditions (an icy piste is my worst snow-related  nightmare) and decided to snowboard down the less steep hills.. That was my strategy. It seemed to work just fine. I thought I had (almost) managed to conquer my fear of heights. Until yesterday.

I got stuck on a narrow path down a very steep hill (the snow was perfect) and while I was struggling to get going I started looking down the hill. The more I looked, the more panicked I got. It suddenly hit me. I hadn’t experienced it for years and I had almost forgotten how terribly frightening it can actually get. I got my phone out and tried calling my friend Y. who was waiting for me further down the slope (we had lost sight of each other). I couldn’t find his number. I started panicking more. I was too scared to move. I called N. and asked him to let Y. know that he should go on without me (thank whoever is responsible for the invention of cell phones). And then I told him a very mature manner: I am stuck. I can’t move. 

10 minutes later I convinced myself that I CAN do it. With trembling knees and shaky hands I started riding down the hill in a very uncool chickenischingly scared out of my mind state, but I did it. I managed to conquer my fear and move on. You know how?? I told my fear the following thing:

YOU CAN’T SCARE ME. I HAVE KIDS.

Until next time

love,

tatu

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14 Responses to “never underestimate the power of fear”

  1. ramblingsfromamum February 21, 2013 at 10:27 am #

    You are braver than I T – I can’t ski or snow-board – in fact I hate the snow…well it’s cold 🙂 You are also right – once you have kids there is nothing that can really scare you… well a few things maybe 🙂 I adored your word chickenischingly 😉 xxx

    • wonderlandbytatu February 21, 2013 at 10:34 am #

      well thank you my dear! one needs to invent a word every now and then to perfectly describe a situation, don’t you think??

  2. Ice Beautiful February 21, 2013 at 1:26 pm #

    I am so proud of you! You are so brave! It is so funny but I totally agree with you – nothing can scare you after having kids especially more than one :). Well I am not a skying person myself – was there twice, loved the beginner’s traces and walked down the higher mountain because I was scared to death to sky down 🙂 Maybe one day, together with my daughter I will learn to sky and I am sure I will love it 🙂

    • wonderlandbytatu February 22, 2013 at 8:46 am #

      thank you my friend…yes, maybe you ll find joy in it together with your daughter. xxx

  3. memyselfandkids.com February 21, 2013 at 4:08 pm #

    That’s awsome that you were able to overcome and move forward – literally. Funny how you convinced yourself. Those kids are good for something!

    • wonderlandbytatu February 21, 2013 at 4:22 pm #

      hahahahahaha. You see?? the whole having kids thing is worth it after all.

      • memyselfandkids.com February 21, 2013 at 4:34 pm #

        I guess so. But I don’t go skiing. I guess I’ll have to find another use for them.

  4. nothingbythebook February 21, 2013 at 4:46 pm #

    Now there’s a motto for a tattoo… 😛

  5. ioannis mavros February 21, 2013 at 5:23 pm #

    ”Conquer Your Fears So You Can Conquer the World” said someone.

  6. sakuraandme February 22, 2013 at 6:05 am #

    I’ve never tried anything like that. It looks scary and fun. Have a great weekend! Hugs Paula xx

    • wonderlandbytatu February 22, 2013 at 8:38 am #

      you just described how I feel about it 😉 Have a great one too! xxx

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

  1. a blissful winter day « wonderland by tatu - February 21, 2013

    […] if I could erase the one nasty incident of the day, I would say this was a PERFECT […]

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