should she stay or should she go?

28 May

The last few days I have been running around almost all public services to obtain the necessary paperwork I need to enroll Iliana in kindergarten.

I HATE Greek public services.

However, I have a trick up my sleeve to obtain the papers I need in less time. I drag the children along. Yes it is a hassle, but it gets the work done a lot faster (depending on the social services of course and the ass lovely person behind the counter). Playing the I-don’t-have-any-help-with-my-kids-so-I-need-to-drag-them-along card usually works like a charm, especially at the local unemployment agency.

After four days and numerous public services visits I managed to get everything I need. I am relieved but not happy. Why?

Yiannis went to the same kindergarten and was being bullied for 9 months. So to say that I am not particularly fond of this school is an understatement. But at the moment, since I am not working, or better said I am not getting paid for the work I do, we can’t afford a private kindergarten for Iliana.

So, it comes down to 3 options:

1) She stays with me for another year and I will find myself in the same situation in a year’s time.

2) She goes to this kindergarten for 2 years until she is old enough to switch over to the German preschool.

3) I find a part-time job which will pay for a private kindergarten (with the unemployment at its peak at the moment the chances of that happening are close zero). Let’s say I do find a job, who will take care of Iliana when she gets sick?? Yiannis spent half of his first kindergarten year at home, sick.

I am tending to choose option 1 as she will be 3 1/2 when school starts and she is more than eager to make some new friends and socialize.

I honestly don’t know. Good thing I have the whole summer before I have to make a final decision.

What would you do, my friends?

Up until next time

love

tatu

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23 Responses to “should she stay or should she go?”

  1. ioannis mavros May 28, 2013 at 8:02 am #

    She has to go !believe me.

  2. sakuraandme May 28, 2013 at 9:32 am #

    Haha! Oh boy the joys of parenting. I would do as you’re doing. Keep her home 1 more year and continue to teach her so she doesn’t fall behind the kids at school. It’s still very young and parents are putting their kids into care younger and younger. Now though the kids that go in from babies seem to be miles ahead, because of all the early learning. But what about just being kids and running around having fun. What do I know…You do what you think is best…your the sailor of your ship! LMAO I hug you…Paula xxxxx

    • wonderlandbytatu May 28, 2013 at 9:35 am #

      thank you Paula. There are pros and cons with every decision, but that is life, right? There is no perfect solution, I will just have to find the right one for Iliana.
      xxx

      • sakuraandme May 28, 2013 at 10:07 am #

        Absolutely and who knows better than you…her mum! hugs xxxxxxxx

  3. ramblingsfromamum May 28, 2013 at 11:56 am #

    Um let me get this right school at 3 1/2? We start ours over here at 5 (the minimum) under 5 sounds very young? We also have kindergartens that are not private but government funded. I do not know – you are the only one who can decide on this one as I don’t know your system over there. I would say find a part time job – you are ‘anticipating’ Iliana may be ill because Yiannis was – but will she? If this is the better solution then I say do this, she may not have one day ill and you will kick yourself in the butt 🙂 xxxx

    • wonderlandbytatu May 28, 2013 at 12:04 pm #

      Primary school starts at the age of 6, kindergarten is the one I am considering about Iliana and yes, you might be right, she might not get ill often(although with 24-30 kids in the same class one is always unwell), thank you MM for taking the time to read and share your thoughts xxx

  4. Gina May 28, 2013 at 12:38 pm #

    send her..she might not be bullied, not get sick all the time and you ll have some free time (a couple of hours) to do some things without ANY kid.

  5. memyselfandkids.com May 28, 2013 at 5:44 pm #

    I like your trick for getting services faster – the pity card. Well, those kids might as well be good for something. Ha ha.
    I think another option is to teach her boxing. I don’t mean that to be flippant – well, maybe a little. As you saw from my blog, I talked a bit about this issue as well. I hate the fact that you would have to change your plans for your child because of some bully. Terrible.

    • wonderlandbytatu May 28, 2013 at 7:55 pm #

      you see? I found ONE GREAT use for them.
      As I was gathering my papers yesterday and left one public service for the next I bumped into a mom from an old classmate of Yiannis so I asked her. How did this year go? Were you happy with the school? And she said: well, I had a few problems with a boy who was hitting my son and went to the principal a few times (and there I thought, it had only been with me/Yiannis). Iliana is a stronger character. She has been taught well since Yiannis has been ‘bullying’ her for the last 3 1/2 years. Maybe it wouldn’t be THAT bad, but then again, I am seriously considering keeping her home for one more year.

      • memyselfandkids.com May 29, 2013 at 3:24 am #

        I hate bullies!!!
        I hear what you mean about the older sibling bullying the younger. I just wish BR could save some of his “bad ass” for others.

  6. gaitanaki (eliza) May 28, 2013 at 8:04 pm #

    I would say get the space if they give you one and see how it goes. She might not be too bad. Keep an eye out for her. Not sure how you will be able to afford the German school if you can’t afford the private nursery just now. Take it one step at the time though. I would say take it even further and try and get to know the local mums that will be in your kidergarden or the ones that are in your area. Create a closed Facebook group or something. It has worked in our area. We got to know people and help each other with childcare even after school pickup and drop off.

    • wonderlandbytatu May 29, 2013 at 6:32 am #

      Hopefully I will have found a job until then. Even if it just pays the school (which is one of the less expensive private schools anyway). I know what you mean with the other mums of the area, I tried it out with Yiannis but it didn’t really work out, I ll give it a go with Iliana anyway. We will see. I think I might have a slight problem myself. I am not quite sure If I am willing to let her go just yet, you know?

      • gaitanaki (eliza) May 29, 2013 at 1:08 pm #

        I do know. So hard. I cry everytime I pack another of his worn out clothes or gadgets. I feel like I will never get to do this ever again. It’s knowing when to let them go that is the hardest thing to do. It’s for her own good.
        x e

  7. nothingbythebook May 28, 2013 at 10:25 pm #

    No good choice, really, hey? But you’ll make the best one.

  8. meditatingmummy May 30, 2013 at 3:20 am #

    I have been waiting to write to you on this for the longest time Tatu, and I’m so sorry I just keep playing catch up… Honestly, I cannot wait for the girls Summer break to begin this Friday. Then again, I have to find a few activities to do with them. We normally travel but it is expensive. Enough of me…
    I had this same issue. But, here’s the thing. We do start early here in the US and even in Sri Lanka where I grew up, we start pre- school at 3-31/2
    My girls began Montessori school at 3, 4 for my youngest because it cost an arm and a leg and I didn’t work. I wish I had begun at 3 because I feel that she lost out on that very important 1st yr of a three year cycle. My husband and I both went to Montessori and we really like the ‘whole child’ system they incorporate.
    I am still not working because I commute 40 mins one way to take my girls to school and I am looking for a part time job with flexible hours, who is going to give me that? I guess i’m really kidding myself. Was looking to work from home, waiting for the next brilliant idea to start my own business… But, sigh, nothing. Zero.

    The girls now go to a public Montessori and since we don’t have to pay anymore, the cost is off set by how much we spend on gas. Much better than paying thousands of dollars. Yet, I don’t regret that they began early because they did well. It is not for everyone though. Oh and I had the same worry about my eldest, she would fall sick for a week or more almost every month, especially when Autumn and Winter set in. I could almost predict it. Whenever a child at school was sick, she became sick but much worse than any other child for she had asthma and would wheeze all the time with severe coughing, staying up into the night. It is only this year, fingers crossed, now that she is almost 10, where she missed just 5 days of school the whole year compared to weeks in the past years.

    I thought my youngest would be the same but she has held on, so you never know with Iliana it may be different. Ultimately it is your decision and you know your children really well, so don’t hurry, take your time, watch them over the Summer and then decide. Whatever you do Tatu, you will make the right one for your kids. It’s not easy but it will be okay.
    xxx

    • wonderlandbytatu May 30, 2013 at 8:40 pm #

      WOW. I think you topped my most dedicated comment of all times!!! Thank you my dear for taking the time to read & tell me your side of the story.
      I still can’t believe the things I am learning from my blogging world.
      Well let’s see.
      I was/still am hoping that I could work from home and pay at least for one child’s tuition but this brilliant idea you are referring to…I am still searching for it. NO LUCK WHATSOEVER, but I still have hope.
      I would not consider sending her if I was happy with the school but I am not really. That is the problem. She is more than ready for kindergarten, she has been asking me for the last 6 months. Anyway, we ll see.
      On another note…you have a Montessori public school??? I might consider moving to the US 😉
      Again, thank you so much for sharing your thoughts. It means the world to me
      xxx

      • meditatingmummy June 4, 2013 at 1:17 am #

        You know T, I feel very strongly about school and my kids foundation. It shocked me that we had waiting lists for little ones. I had no idea when we started searching, we would be on a list. Now I know why.
        I agree, public Montessori is such a blessing. Only until 6th grade though. I have another year to find a middle school for 7th and 8th. Sigh. I still think we, here in the US need to improve our school systems. The East Coast has some great schools, California’s alternate schools are the way to go such as this one. A long way to go compared to Europe or Singapore. I am constantly researching and talking to other parents.
        xx

  9. Elina Zambounis June 5, 2013 at 11:47 am #

    No suggestions Tatu mou…You’re the mom, you know better…
    Just a positive thought on my end that you will choose wisely in the end!

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

  1. breakdown no 49 | wonderland by tatu - October 17, 2013

    […] about headaches, stomachaches, tiredness. She has become miserable. Remember how I was reluctant to put her into kindergarten in the first […]

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