if you get easily disgusted, don’t read this

24 Aug

While we were vacationing in Pelion a couple of weeks ago, my sister and my cousin had the insane magnificent idea to go swimming on the beach of the busiest, widely known, beautiful beach of Mylopotamos.

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N. & Ch. (Alex’s husband), tried to talk them out of it, giving them multiple reasons why this would probably be the worst idea of the whole 7 day trip, but they were so persistent, they just decided to go along. Mistake No 1.

After a full breakfast, Mistake No 2, I had the splendid idea to switch places with Ch. & ride along with Alex & the girls (Mistake No 3). I do remember my last words to Ch. before I sat on the co-drivers seat: If Iliana complains that she has tummy ache, stop the car and we will switch places, ok? Ch. gave me the my-mind-is-totally-somewhere-else-and-I-will-nod-just-to-get-you-off-my-back look and said OK. I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN.

Half way through the 1 1/2 hour torturous ride up & down the mountain to the beach, N. stopped the car.

S H I T.

A semi panicked, semi guilty looking N. exited the car.

– WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED? I asked him. Of course I already knew the answer to that.

– Iliana just threw up.

– Oh no. No, no, no, no…If you know me, you know I can handle almost anything related to kid’s typical illnesses (sore throat, ear infections, bronchitis, you name it). Almost. The whole seeing what my kid just ate in detail accompanied by the most disgusting smell in the world thing I don’t deal with, well.

Numb and with the most disgusted look on my face I was staring at the 3-year-old who was crying like hell covered in the full morning’s breakfast, mumbling something about men being useless…

Thankfully my sis came to my rescue. She managed to calm Iliana down, clean her up (wet wipes inventor-I love you), put her dress and the 2 Barbies who just happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time into a plastic bag and into the trunk and pretended she didn’t mind. Oh yes, the whole puke-aversion thing runs in the family.

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we found a waterfall and tried washing everything under the crystal cold water that was coming down the mountain: including 3-year-old Iliana

Needless to say the already way too long drive to the beach got an hour extension and when we finally arrived at 3pm at the much awaited beach we realized we had to park 1 km away from the 300 steps which would lead us to it only to share it with another 1000 people who had the same dumb idea.

Tired, nauseous & fed up we took the absolute necessary things (or so we thought) and started to walk towards our destination. Nobody dared to say anything as we all felt like fusing time bombs who were just about to go off with the teeny – tiny – bit of stupid comment.

When we finally arrived at the beach, we discovered that there was no space left for 9 people so we squeezed our belongings together and shoved them next to some rocks convincing each other that, and I quote ‘we are so lucky, we found shade’, ignoring the fact that we had just carried an umbrella & a tent for 1 km and 300 steps.

The kids managed to stop whining & fussing as soon as they hit the water and N. & I decided to take turns in staying with Iliana as she didn’t really feel like swimming (can you blame her?)

After a couple of drama-less hours had passed I decided to leave everyone behind and go for the long-awaited swim in the sea. It was great. Worth it? Definitely not, but still I tried convincing myself that it was great.

When I returned to the gang, N. & Alex seemed eager to share with me the latest incident of the day.

Iliana had suddenly felt the need to pooh (after she had eaten two dozens of grapes, Mistake No 4) and thought to share it with the other 1000 people on the beach by shouting out: I HAVE KAKA!!!!! A painful realization: We had forgotten THE SINGLE MOST IMPORTANT THING OF ALL: the potty.

-SO? what did you do??? I was smiling….Finally, something that happened without my presence.

– She shitted in a plastic bag.

– Oh great! still smiling

– And while we were praising ourselves that we had brilliantly mastered the crisis, wiped her clean and threw away the only plastic bag we had, she shouted: I HAVE MORE!!!

– hahahahahahaha (ironic, right)

– And then we took the huge bag of chips (crisps if you are British) we had just licked clean and let her finish in there.

– Honey, I am proud of you!

Until next time

love

tatu

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10 Responses to “if you get easily disgusted, don’t read this”

  1. Elina Zambounis August 24, 2013 at 5:40 pm #

    That was just hilarious!!!
    I am proud of her too!

  2. momtimes4 August 24, 2013 at 9:29 pm #

    How could I not read this post with that title? Yikes! You poor thing!

    • wonderlandbytatu August 25, 2013 at 7:54 pm #

      true…but still, I sometimes fear that my non parent friends will freak out with the disgusting details of our family adventures. I am confident though, that you’ve been there multiple times with your precious little gems, right? xxx

  3. expatsincebirth August 24, 2013 at 9:53 pm #

    Haha, Tatu: Not mach erfinderisch! 😉

    • wonderlandbytatu August 25, 2013 at 7:55 pm #

      was man alles machen muss als Eltern 😉

      • expatsincebirth August 27, 2013 at 11:54 am #

        Ha, ja. Da hast du recht. Hab grad was ähnliches erlebt mit unserem Hund. Don’t ask… bah…

  4. meditatingmummy August 25, 2013 at 9:47 pm #

    Tatu, like you, vomit is the one thing that puts me off, no really, I can even deal with ahem, poo. The other thing is a no, no. Poor you and poor Iliana.

    My youngest had the same thing happen to her on a flight that was 16 hrs long. Through no fault of her own, the children’s meal on the airlines was slightly off, which made her sick and boy did she start to hurl throughout the flight, all the way through a stop over in Seoul( they have the cleanest floors and bathroom- we got evil looks) and on the next flight all the way to Singapore. She was dehydrated, sick and although we were ready for a shower and change of clothes in Singapore, somewhere in our bags, lay this bundle of um, smelly clothes. When we finally got to my mum’s, I showered, the kids showered my husband showered. We could not get that smell out of our nostrils.

    I am glad you were able to swim a little and be at peace, although you came back to um, more adventures 😉

    • wonderlandbytatu August 26, 2013 at 9:49 am #

      oh….I feel you…poor her….that sounds like the absolute traveling nightmare!
      THE SMELL! there is not anything more persistent than this freaking smell.
      I used to get the stomach flu all the time when I was a child but I still haven’t gotten used to it. It creeps me out.
      Anyway. Enough about that.
      I hope you are all doing well xxx

  5. elpida August 28, 2013 at 3:07 pm #

    hahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!great! It is extremely useful to carry a plastic bag, or even two, three…!

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