we have some porn in our garden

16 Sep

Truth be told I was not yet ready to go down that road. Not just yet.

I should have known better.

Alexandros had been living solo for the past couple of years.

When we first moved to the suburbs, I found a huge tortoise trying to cross the street in front of our house. ‘That must be KARMA’, I thought to my delusional self. It’s amazing how much bullshit is involved in a self talk. ‘I must rescue it before a car drives it over’. Against all prejudices tortoises are NOT THAT slow and the chances of a tortoise getting ran over by a car are slim to (almost) none.

A couple of weeks later, I found another one. By number 3, I admitted to myself that it was probably not so much karma, rather than a pretty regular sight in rural Greece.

After a couple of years the number of adopted tortoises had considerably grown (9) as opposed to the number of plants and flowers who had been slowly but steadily disappearing from the garden.

It was then that N. & I realized that we could either have a garden or breed tortoises. We opted for the garden. We decided to keep two smaller ones and Alexandros who seemed to be the only male among them and gave the rest away.

Up until yesterday, whenever I used to find a tortoise on the street, I would pick it up and put it somewhere safe (apart from my garden).

Yesterday I succumbed to my 6 year old’s begging.

I confess. I am weak.

‘Mami, can we please, please, please (you know the drill) keep it???

‘Well…..OK.’

Yiannis was shocked with the limited amount of begging that was involved. He was ready to drive me crazy. I could see it in his eyes.

What’s the harm in keeping one more.

Right?

Wrong.

Call me ignorant. Call me forgetful.

Image

‘Mom, what are they DOING??’ A semi shocked, semi disgusted 6 year old asked me.

‘Oh honey, they love each other.’ Pretty lame, I know.

‘What do you mean they love each other? Alexandros is making awful sounds and she is trying to get away. That sure doesn’t look like love to me.’

Shit. This kid is smart. Quick, think of something smart to say.

‘Honey, what would you like for dinner?’

Until next time

love,

tatu

 

 

 

Advertisements

11 Responses to “we have some porn in our garden”

  1. zoe k. September 16, 2013 at 8:49 am #

    LOL! I laughed so hard with this story! But I am sure I will do the exact same things when the baby comes and grows enough to ask me such questions!

    • wonderlandbytatu September 18, 2013 at 6:29 am #

      One thing is for sure, parents get pretty innovative (or not) when it comes to confronting big issues with the little people. Soon, you will know first hand 😉

  2. Elina Zambounis September 16, 2013 at 9:32 am #

    When I read the title of the post I was absolutely sure it would be about tortoises making out!
    You see we might not have had 18 animals in our family home, like a friend of mine once did (…) but we did have almost the same amount of tortoises in our garden, and I was so familiar with them and their sexual preferences!!!
    The only advantage that my parents had over you was that at the time I was old enough to not really need any explanations… : )

    • wonderlandbytatu September 18, 2013 at 6:30 am #

      18 animals in one household???? who is that crazy person?? 😉
      lucky them then, not having to explain!

  3. ramblingsfromamum September 16, 2013 at 10:29 am #

    Achhhh T this was hysterical….but aren’t they like us..make awful sounds and try to get away 😉 Bless you and your tortoise captures…watch out for babies 😉 xx

    • wonderlandbytatu September 18, 2013 at 6:32 am #

      hahahaha! so true!!!
      We’ve had babies in the past, but none of them survived the garden predators I am afraid. If we do get lucky again, I ll have to think of something else. xxx

  4. momtimes4 September 16, 2013 at 7:47 pm #

    Ha Ha!!! Best post title ever!

  5. nothingbythebook September 17, 2013 at 1:13 am #

    Loved. Laughed. Sharing everywhere to spread the porn. Er, laughter.

  6. My Fourtography Life September 23, 2013 at 11:47 pm #

    LOL love it!! 🙂

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

to pin or not

a place to test all of my pins and let you know what I think

wonder bites by tatu

food that makes me happy

Mamatsita

Homemade recipes-Homemade Fun

Simone's Thermomix Essentials

Thermomix; Thermomix recipes; family; everyday cooking

TIME

Current & Breaking News | National & World Updates

Communicate.Grow.Flourish

Communication Tips To Help Your Relationships Flourish.

Newagemama.com

Γι΄ αυτούς που κρατούν ανοιχτούς τους λογαριασμούς τους με τη ζωή

Hungry Hannah

● Food ● Life ● Health ● Wellness ●

Loni Found Herself

Finding Myself. Finding Happiness.

homemadeadventure

Recipes and ramblings of a domestically inclined medical student

PornBurger

Burger Perverts Welcome

Ramblings From A Mum

This is my journey, my thoughts, my views, plain and simple and from my heart. Please travel with me and share, hopefully it will be an interesting trip.

Seth Adam Smith

Life Is Worth Living

Have a Yummy Day

A fine WordPress.com site

The Matt Walsh Blog

Absolute Truths (and alpaca grooming tips)

Life Aboard Two Choices

Pete & Lu's Sailing Adventures

The Clothesline

Chronicles of an overwhelmed mother

The Adventures of Fanny P.

...because life is just one big adventure...

kids recipes and organised chaos

Being a SAHM, cooking real food and learning to be organised

CROSS-SHAPED STUFF

i want to see more stuff shaped like a cross

State of Alaska

Life's a joke. Might as well laugh.

Hiking Photography

Beautiful photos of hiking and other outdoor adventures.

mancakes..the blog

...SYRUP ON THE SIDE.

boyeatsworld

family travel and food

Cheeni Thoughts

a lifestyle blog!

Inspirational + Awesome

Inspirational quotes, stories and videos + Awesome pictures

A Teachable Mom

Attitude. Latitude. Gratitude. One Lesson at a Time.

Meditating Mummy's Mostly Bookish Blog

I live to read, to be, to see the world ...

Our Life In Action

All you need is a little imagination

depressionexists

Sharing my experiences

Larry D. Bernstein | Freelance Writer, Blogger, Educator

everyday bits & pieces of a desperate housewife & stay-at-home mom

simplymejustbe.wordpress.com/

here's to YOU, who You have become so far, and who You have yet to BE, Simply You Just BE!

Cloudy, With a Chance of Wine

Funny stories about my functionally dysfunctional life

Used Not Confused

Fashion is Passion

Fiammisday Blog Come Vestire i Bambini

come vestire i bambini?Fiammisday, il Blog di moda per mamme e bambini che ti consiglia l’outfit giusto per ogni occasione

Roll Over and Play Dad

Everyone in this house needs to calm down

Ambitious Kitchen

Sweet Treats + Healthy Eats

Adventures with Finn

Weekly Dispatches from Dad: Exploring Life with a three year old

My Fourtography Life

four children and a photography habit to support

The World according to Dina

Notes on Seeing, Reading & Writing, Living & Loving in The North

%d bloggers like this: