it’s a…

20 Jan

BOY

I turned and looked at N. and saw the huge smile on his face. He was glowing.

What did you want? my gynecologist asked me.

I want a healthy and strong baby. I didn’t care about the gender. I was just starting to let go of the fear of losing it and slowly beginning to ‘enjoy’ the idea of no3.

Well… If I want to be 100% truthful, I secretly wished for a girl. So did my sister Alex. But I am happy for Yiannis who kind of threatened me that if I wasn’t going to have a boy, I should just leave the whole holding on to this difficult pregnancy all together.

Why did I prefer having a girl? For the most irrational and biased reason in the world. I know you are not supposed to label your children (good luck with that) and you are not supposed to compare them either (more luck with that one) but…Yiannis has been my thunder and Iliana has been my sunshine ever since they made their first appearance in our world. 

I have struggled to find the RIGHT way to communicate with my son. I can reassure you I have experienced the epic fails of the different WRONG ways I thought I would be able to handle certain situations. Now, after 6 1/2 years I have come much closer to finding out what works with him and what doesn’t. I still lack the abundant patience and the energy I need to work at it/with him everyday, 24/7.  But, what I have come to realize is that by counting the number of times I fail at it, I don’t do anyone a favor. I need to cherish the few times that I do make it work and take it from there.

‘Don’t hold a grudge’ my brother in law told me yesterday when he visited. Its poisonous for everyone involved. That was by far THE BEST ADVICE I have ever been given.

LEARN TO LET GO and just START OVER.

This is what I will do. Its not going to be easy. But its definitely worth a try.

Until next time

love

tatu

20140120-081530.jpg

N. treated me to some burger and fries after our last visit at the doctor. I am sure he did not mean that when he said I should continue with my bed rest but boy, that felt GOOD!

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21 Responses to “it’s a…”

  1. ramblingsfromamum January 20, 2014 at 9:47 am #

    burger and fries? you are entitled! I haven’t had boys, but my brother had 2. Boys are a handful and energy consuming when growing up, girls are easier – in my books. Then girls get harder and boys aren’t… trust me lol. This next child maybe completely different from both of them – yes let go and start again. Do not think this wee one will be like Yiannis or Iliana – just like you are not like anyone else or N. Hugs and I’m on email remember if you need me xx

    • wonderlandbytatu January 21, 2014 at 12:04 pm #

      YES!!!! Burger and fries! I definitely needed my junk food fix!
      I know you are right. He will probably be totally different from the two of them, and although he will wear me out (I still have vivid images of Yianni & Iliana breastfeeding 24/7 and me not getting ANY SLEEP) the moment I will lay my eyes on him, I won’t be able to imagine my life without him ever again. Thanks for the email reminder. LOVE & a big HUG.

  2. lahacienda January 20, 2014 at 10:48 am #

    Congratulations Tati! Boy or girl, this baby is a fighter. Now, let’s think of some names! Big kiss

    • wonderlandbytatu January 21, 2014 at 11:59 am #

      DEFINITELY. This baby is here to stay (I hope). Well, regarding the name, N. has rejecting all of my suggestions so…I need some help from my friends 😉

  3. Elina Zambounis January 20, 2014 at 12:02 pm #

    ahh! you sure have a wise brother in law!
    By the way..thunders are what take us one step ahead in life…(that is, if we choose to move forward) and sunshines are there to give us the strength to carry on…
    Which one do you think is more valuable for us?

    And then comes the name issue…We still have not come up with one…and I am well into my 36th!

    • wonderlandbytatu January 21, 2014 at 11:58 am #

      I love that! Thank you. That was exactly what I needed to hear.
      Yeap, same story here with the name. xxx

  4. expatsincebirth January 20, 2014 at 12:04 pm #

    Congratulations! I don’t believe this “girls are easier” or “boys are easier”: it so depends on their characters! Your littlest one will just fit into your family and you’ll have fun with him and enjoy discovering the world with him. I do believe that every new family member adds something to the family and offers the possibility to find another balance. You have time to think about everything related to this new boy, to you, your children, your family. Take one step at the time and enjoy! Big hugs! xxx

    • wonderlandbytatu January 21, 2014 at 11:56 am #

      Thank you Ute. I don’t believe in this cliche either, in our case the challenging one just turned out to be the boy. Pure luck. Everyone says that the third always brings balance to the family. Let’s see. For the time being I just hope we ll be able to make it through the remainder of the pregnancy safe and sound. Lots of love & kisses

  5. kidsrecipesandorganisedchaos January 20, 2014 at 12:34 pm #

    However says they don’t compare their kids is lying! When we were trying for our 4th, we were really, really, really hoping for a boy. We got a girl. I love my girls, but far out, they whinge and whine constantly! My son is so placid and chilled out! So you never know, you could have a super chilled out boy too, and just think, when Iliana grows up, she’ll have two brothers to protect her 😉

    • wonderlandbytatu January 21, 2014 at 11:52 am #

      You had me at ‘when we were trying for our 4th’. RESPECT! I couldn’t even begin to imagine no3, that is why the universe decided for me 🙂
      I like the thought of Iliana having two brothers to protect her. I ll stick with that. Thanks. xxx

  6. Gina January 20, 2014 at 3:48 pm #

    I know what you mean Tatu mou.. When I frst heard thet I had a boy I started crying. The ultrasound doctor said: you have a sister, right? No worries though, you are going to be a mom of 2 boys! bliax – but at the same time what a bliss.. 🙂
    gina

    • wonderlandbytatu January 21, 2014 at 11:49 am #

      I can imagine. But boys are less complicated than girls in many ways. Less drama. DEFINITELY less drama. 😉

  7. memyselfandkids.com January 20, 2014 at 9:17 pm #

    I hope the new baby boy will be easier to deal with than Yannis. It may be that that Yannis was simply different from his sister – not just because he was a boy – that you struggled to deal with him when he was young.
    I think the advice your brother in law gave you wise.

    • wonderlandbytatu January 21, 2014 at 11:48 am #

      I know you are right. One of the good things of having a third one is that you have been there twice before so you (should) know what’s it all about. Keep your fingers crossed for your friend, OK?

      • memyselfandkids.com January 21, 2014 at 1:10 pm #

        Yes, you know what you are doing. You’ll be fine.
        Will do.

  8. elpida January 20, 2014 at 11:38 pm #

    dear tatu…i completely agree with the comparing issue….it is impossible to avoid…In my case, the girl is a “Rebel Without a Cause”…so so difficult to deal with and the boy is a “As Good As It Gets”….In my opinion it is a matter of first and second child treatement…the third child cannot be difficult…you have the know how and you will enjoy it…ok it will be hard combined with the two older children but they have each other and i suppose and hope you will have more time with the younger one…i think that a boy is as perfect as it gets….kisses! Be strong and happy!

    • wonderlandbytatu January 21, 2014 at 11:46 am #

      That’s what they say. Usually the first babies are the ‘damaged’ ones 😉
      The only thing I care about at the moment (concerning this little fella) is that he stays put and holds on for as long as he can. I hope you are doing well Elpida. Hope to c u soon! xxx

  9. sakuraandme January 21, 2014 at 12:11 pm #

    Woohoo! A boy, Yay! 🙂
    I would have died to have had a daughter but it wasn’t meant to be.
    Remember my boys are 8 years apart and let me tell you they are chalk and cheese!!
    My baby is 22 today and soon I am off to the shower to meet him at the casino for dinner. 🙂 He’s my pride and joy and lights up my world. Now go back when he was younger…A nightmare is being kind! LMAO Seriously T, he pressed every button a child could to test his mothers love for him. He never listened to a word I said until I screamed the house down like a crazy woman! And even then he did it in his own time. I used to wonder what I did wrong and what could I do that would make him listen to me and me not yell? Nothing. He just grew up and matured into this very confident strong capable man. His girlfriend calls him her rock and that’s what he is, a rock! Sometimes breaking that will is no good.
    My oldest son 29 was such a good boy and did everything I asked and more, still does!
    At the end of the day, T it all has a way of sorting itself out. We just need to stay grounded in the process and not go crazy, right? Haha
    Love to you and your family! Hugs Paula xxxxx

    • wonderlandbytatu January 23, 2014 at 8:46 am #

      My dearest Paula, I just saw your comment. First of all, thank you so much, you can not begin to imagine how at ease that makes me feel (knowing there is light at the end of the -sometimes-very-dark tunnel). I too blame myself for failing to parent him the ‘correct’ way as sometimes it just seems that there is NOTHING that works with him. I don’t think Yianni’s will can be (or as you put it-should be) broken. This is not my intention anyway. He just sometimes sucks out ALL the energy I have and this is so frustrating.
      I will try to follow your advice and not get so crazy about it (emphasis on the TRY part).
      I hope you are doing well.
      A gigantic hug & lots of love to you my friend xxx

      • sakuraandme January 23, 2014 at 10:58 am #

        Try, is all we can do because ultimately they are little devils and have their own minds!! Hahahaha

        Oh boy do I understand sucking out all your energy, as Kieran did the same to me. Like I said, he’s grown into an amazing young man as will Yiannis. I used to walk away and take deep breaths to calm down!! Lol Hugs T, Paula xxxxx

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