life happens while you’re busy making other plans

19 Jan

Is there such a thing as pre-grief?

Are we truly EVER ready for even the tiniest possibility of an early departure of a dear beloved?

The answer is NO. We are not.

To say that the new year kicked off in an awful way is an understatement. My mom was rushed to the hospital with all signs of pneumonia and was diagnosed with metastatic cancer. After 10+ years. Just when you think, you’re in the clear, BAM! Reality hits you in the face.

After numerous exhausting tests, endless talks and useless what ifs that belong in the past, it all came down to two ‘options’: 1)to start an urgent weekly chemotherapy treatment to try and fight the new cancer cells or 2)not do anything, accept defeat and wait for the end…

Although she had previously declared that she will never ever go through chemo again (as she suffered severe side effects the first time around), the devastating possibility of leaving too soon made her instantly change her mind.

So, while January was supposed to be all about celebrations (Yianni’s name day, Iliana turned 7 on my name day) it’s been an immensely challenging few weeks with a lot of crying hospital visits, last minute change of plans, doctor’s appointments & denial of the new situation. Everything else (including my food blog) has been on hold. Until the new situation sets in.

Petra is a fighter. Has always been. Will always be. So, I trust that she/we will make the best out of this new reality. In her own words: I am not ready to die just yet. I still want to meet my great grand children.

So, here is to the now, making the best out of what we have left and hoping on a miracle.

Hope is the thing with feathers, by Emily Dickinson

‘Hope’ is the thing with feathers
That perches in the soul
And sings the tune without the word
And never stops at all

And sweetest in the Gale is heard
And sore must be the storm
That could abash the little Bird
That kept so many warm

I’ve heard it in the chillest land
And on the strangest Sea
Yet, never, in Extremity,
It asked a crumb of Me.

Until next time,

love

t

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12 Responses to “life happens while you’re busy making other plans”

  1. ramblingsfromamum January 19, 2017 at 10:41 am #

    I wish there was a I’m sorry button T. I’m so sorry for your mum, I wish you all strength to fight, to continue, to beat this insideous disease. Life can change so quickly, the everyday put on hold as far more important matters and situations arise that required our attention.
    Hugs and love ❤️❤️

    • wonderlandbytatu January 19, 2017 at 10:31 pm #

      Oh yes, so true my dear Jenny. I recently read somewhere: yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery and today is a gift. That’s why it is called the present…
      Lots of love xxx

  2. expatsincebirth January 19, 2017 at 12:34 pm #

    That’s so tough, T. I’m so sorry for your mum and you all. I wish you all to get the maximum out of this time and hope that all goes smoothly.
    I’m sending lots of hugs and positive and healing vibes your way! Alles Liebe xxxxx Ute

    • wonderlandbytatu January 19, 2017 at 10:28 pm #

      Vielen Dank liebe Ute. Ich hoffe es geht euch allen gut xxx

      • expatsincebirth February 13, 2017 at 10:58 pm #

        Ja, Tatu, hier ist alles ok. Wie geht es dir? Es ist sicher nicht einfach wenn deine Mutter in D. ist…

  3. mmtread January 19, 2017 at 12:37 pm #

    Oh shit, I’m so sorry to hear about this. There’s nothing I or anyone can say that will make any of this any better. Just know that we’ll be thinking about you, and hoping for the best.

    • wonderlandbytatu January 19, 2017 at 10:10 pm #

      Matt…I can’t even begin to understand what you are going through.

      • wonderlandbytatu January 19, 2017 at 10:19 pm #

        I hope you are all doing well! I wish you, Susan and the boys all the best for 2017! Stay strong and healthy, above all. Love, t

  4. meditatingmummy January 19, 2017 at 9:59 pm #

    Oh T, I’m so sorry, sending you love and hugs. I love that your mum wants to see her great grandchildren, such courage means a positive outlook. Take it one day at a time. xx

  5. wonderlandbytatu January 19, 2017 at 10:27 pm #

    Some days are better than others. Thank you for your kind words. I hope you are well. Lots of love xxx

  6. gaitanaki (eliza) January 19, 2017 at 10:39 pm #

    Dearest Tutu, I wish I could give you a long hug. Hoping for the best for you and that this will soon be a bad dream. Xxxxx

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    […] για την απουσία μου το τελευταίο διάστημα αλλά life happens while you are busy making other plans, […]

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