Tag Archives: best friend

does marriage kill romance? hell yeah

12 Jun

Ever since I was a little girl I dreamt about getting married and having my own children. I had this very romantic, idyllic, unrealistic view of marriage. At least for the first twenty years of my life.

Then, the bubble burst.

My parents had tried very hard to pretend perfection. They had kept us outside their troubles, their turmoil, their struggles, until we were forced in. Did it serve us well? Hell no.

This post is not about my parents’ marriage though. This is not my story to tell.

This was just a mere introduction of how terrified I had suddenly become of getting married. Will I find the right one? Will I end up like my parents? Will it be as hard? Will I be struggling?

Yes, I hope not, probably, definitely.

I had a huge burden on my soul which gave me so much stress each time I started a new relationship which ultimately contributed in the break up.

During my emotional screwed up state I met N. We immediately clicked, spend a lot of time together, flirted like crazy and enjoyed ourselves immensely. I then decided to call it quits. N. was so surprised with my cold shoulder that he actually asked me to go out for a coffee and interrogated me if he had imagined the whole flirting thing or if it had actually happened.  I then gave him the most cliché but real answer I could. I told him that I valued him too much as a person to destroy him as I was an emotional wreck. He didn’t believe a word.

Six months later I decided to dive in. It was the first time I had no plans whatsoever. I had decided I would enjoy myself. I would live in the moment.

5 years later we got married.

These past 7 years we have been through a lot. My mother’s sickness, the death of his father, the birth of our two children, the letting go of our old carefree days, the transformation of our lives, the involuntary interference of the in-laws, the joy and the stress that parenthood brought upon us.

We sometimes lost each other in trying to deal with all of the above. We were lucky enough to find our way back.

Marriage is hard. Love is not enough. I always thought it was. But it ain’t. If you want your marriage to work you must constantly struggle to keep it alive. There will be bumps in the way. Lots of them. The secret is to keep finding ways to avoid them. Like the plague.

It is a constant struggle. Don’t take the easy way out. Don’t choose a divorce. Don’t have an affair. Unless, you have realized that the person you decided to share the rest of your life with has flaws you can’t live with. Focus on the traits that you can’t live without. Make time to spend with each other. One on one. No kids. No friends. Just the two of you. Remember why you fell in love in the first place. Make love even though you are tired. Turn your partner into your best friend.

Then, only then, you will have much higher chances to make it work. It’s not going to be easy, but what is?

Until next time

love,

tatu

P.S. I spent the last 10 Minutes trying to convince N. to publish a picture we have from our New York Eves dinner but as he is a very private person I failed. I am OK with that. You see people? Lesson No 1: Respect & Compromise 😉

marriage

an ode to my friend: Panagiotis

4 Apr

It was September 1989. I had left the most wonderful friends and memories from my primary school years behind and was ‘forced’ to start fresh in this new, terrifyingly huge, at times unwelcome new school. I was overwhelmed and excited at the same time.

A month had passed and I was slowly adapting to the new environment. Then, one day I witnessed a shy boy (or so I thought at the time) do an impersonation of our English (drama queen) teacher. It was perfect. I started laughing and laughing and laughing and I couldn’t stop. That was it. I was hooked. This was the start of a beautiful friendship (cheesy but true).

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back then: Panagiotis and Charlie

Panagiotis is the definition of my best friend. We have been through fat & thin (well, this is a German expression which obviously sounds sooooo much better in German). We would meet up at my house and watch 3,536 times Naked Gun 1, 2 1/2, 33 1/3 and so on. We knew all lines by heart. He became my blood brother and I became his blood sister (totally influenced by the movie ‘my girl’). 

When we were 16, his parents invited me along a 4 day trip to Monemvasia. One of the best trips ever. Let me share two very vivid memories from that trip:

1) His father handed me a copy of the book ‘The Bridges over Madison County’ in an attempt to get me off the tetris frenzy I was on on one of those lame copy cat Nintendo like pocket size video games. Needless to say, I finished the book in 3 days and was embarrassingly sobbing like crazy (I think I saw regret in his eyes, he might have preferred the zoned out version of me after all).

2) I cooked spaghetti with a tomato sauce where I had mistakenly used hot pepper instead of sweet paprika. Panagiotis urged his cousin to eat 3 plates without giving me up while I was begging him to stop at plate no 1 (I wonder If I permanently damaged his taste buds).

Panagiotis has this rare quality (amongst other) of having THE PERFECT sense of humor. He can be funny and awkward and serious at the same time. He can find humor in even the strangest, darkest and unfriendliest moments in life.

He has been my best friend for 24 years and he is the godfather to my daughter Iliana. So now, he is practically FAMILY.

Image

Panagiotis at Iliana’s christening

Until next time

love,

tatu

today I celebrate my sister

14 Feb

I am not a Valentine’s kinda person but I love my sister and today is her birthday so today I celebrate her.

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as cute as it gets!

warning to all readers: this post is about to get a bit cheesy

If you have been following my blog for a while you know how obsessed thankful I am for having her in my life. She is the most important reason why I decided to go ahead and make no2 (I apologize to you, my son, but you have had been such a  handful that I am still surprised I was brave enough to co-produce Iliana).

She is truly my rock, my savior, the shoulder I always cry on, my first (and last) phone call, she is truly my best friend.

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I know, I know….I wasn’t a beautiful baby

My love for her is the unconditional, for a life time kind of love.

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can’t you tell?? best sister material

Happy birthday Bibi!

Until next time

love,

tatu

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