Tag Archives: happy

Breastfeeding: a true story

13 Nov

This is by no means a bragging post.

This is simply me, wanting to document the third (and last) journey of mine while I still have the luxury of exclusively breastfeeding the little guy outside.

There are certain things about breastfeeding that no one tells you about.

When you become a mom for the first time, you are immediately flooded with all kinds of insecurities concerning the well-being of your newborn. The weight you are forced to carry for being solely responsible for its survival, weighs heavy on your heart and soul.

Then, your milk comes in. And it hurts LIKE HELL. And you turn into an ugly Dolly Parton version of yourself (I could draw you a picture but I am pretty sure you’d rather not). You begin to wonder:  Is this how it’s supposed to feel? Is this normal? Do I have enough milk? And along with the pain, the hormones and the self-doubt you get an overflow of information (you never asked for in the first place) from relatives and acquaintances trying to impose what THEY think is best for you. And while you are trying to tame the inner voices, a smart-ass, formula bribed, so-called pediatrician pays you your first visit and informs you that your baby is losing weight and that YOU might not have enough milk and that they might need to supplement with formula.

While I experienced all of the above I was one of the lucky ones. I had my sister’s back. She had previously nursed all three of her girls and reassured me that although it sure didn’t feel like it at that point, it would eventually get better & I would even enjoy it.

It took 2 whole months, a different pro-nursing pediatrician and the LLL (La Leche League) support group to make it work, but it did. And after the first very hard couple of months I started seeing the beauty of it.

Don’t get me wrong. It’s not all moonlight and roses. Here are a few examples of what breastfeeding was/is to me:

  • For the first few months your baby is like your key chain. Glued on to you. Especially if your baby eats irregularly (all three babies suffered from acid reflux which on some days meant that they were on the breast 24/7).
  • You can NOT smoke/drink alcohol/starve as this will affect your milk supply.
  • You might have to say bye-bye to certain foods/drinks which make your baby fussy. Because lets face it, fussy baby=sleepless mommy.
  • Your milk is light=easier digested=frequent night waking.
  • You feel like super woman. EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. Which brings me to the next point:
  • You become mesmerized by the power of nature.
  • You get sick, baby gets antibodies through your milk, baby doesn’t get sick.
  • You have the power of the tit. If everything else fails, put your baby on the boob and it will immediately calm him down and drowse him off to dreamland.

Last but not least, do what you feel is BEST for YOU. If you feel like nursing is your thing, do it. If you feel that your baby will strive more on formula, do it. And feel damn good about it.

Until next time

love

t

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20 May

I am almost there.

Officially I still have 8 weeks left. Realistically I will be ecstatic if I get another 4. Both my children decided to leave the premises at 36 weeks gestation and I have been holding on to this little guy tight ever since I had one of the most terrifying days of my life when I nearly lost him right before Christmas.

This has been, and still is, one hell of a ride. A roller coaster of emotions. At times I felt broken, I saw no hope, I thought we had hit a dead end. I felt like there was no way out. But you know what? There is (almost) always a light that will shine through. The impossible becomes possible. And what I feared would tear N. & me apart, made us actually a lot stronger. I feel more love, appreciation, respect for him than ever before. He picked me up when I fell down. Each. And. Every. Single. Time. He said the right words at the wrong time. He was there. 24/7. He was my rock. I am confident that I (we) wouldn’t be here if it hadn’t been for his support. This is what LOVE is all about you guys.

Cheesy? YOU BET. But, let’s not forget that I am still pregnant and I have the right to overindulge in the emotional outpouring of my soul. OK??

I have (finally) reached the stage where I am genuinely happy about #thelittleguyinside. I am confident that we took the right decision when we decided to play along the very scary (at least in the beginning) game of fate and keep him. I see the anticipation and joy in my kids faces when they ‘help’ in the preparation for their sibling. I also see the first signs of jealousy but I choose to look away. I know what’s coming and I know it will be exhausting and draining and challenging but also BREATHTAKING, BEAUTIFUL & FULFILLING.

I CAN’T WAIT!

Until next time (please keep your fingers crossed he will stay put at least for the next 4 weeks)

love

tatu

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HUGE

7 Mar

‘Are you sure you are only carrying 1 baby in there??’ My dear friend E. fired at me while trying to grasp the hugeness of what has become of my once normal sized belly. Even her husband came and said ‘oh look, she has a small belly‘. Once I uncovered the ‘small’ belly from my over-sized scarf he immediately corrected himself OH, NO, YOUR BELLY IS HUGE!.

It is.

Evidence pic no.1:

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Evidence pic no.2:

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Even N. stared at the weight scale this morning and commented: ‘Have you only gained 4 kilos? How did you do that with THAT HUGE BELLY? 

I get it.

It looks kind of alien-ish. And funny. And completely and utterly out of proportion.

Truth of the matter is I don’t really care about it now. But I do wonder HOW this will transform into anything remotely NORMAL once the baby has actually left the premises. Oh well. I ll get over it. I always do.

Enough about THE BELLY now. I have some good news I wanted to share with you.

PEOPLE, I FEEL GOOD.

After 21 weeks it has finally kicked in. The anticipation. The joy. The awe of yet another miracle of life. Yes, I am still freaking out about the not so great things of adjusting your life to the needs of a newborn, but I am actually happy.

I can’t wait to meet him.

I am sure this had something to do with it:

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me: honey come and look I have a pic of your brother. This is the nose, the lips, his hands and part of his tummy
Yiannis: he kinda looks like a monster

I hope you are doing all well

Until next time

love

tatu

let me share some wisdom

15 Apr

Not mine obviously. The one I got from the workshop I attended on conflict resolution at Yiannis’s school two days ago.

But first some events of the last few weeks which seem very relevant to the above.

About a month ago Yiannis came home from school with a party invitation. He is the cutest, proudest and most schmusable(my word, comes from the German word ‘schmusen’=cuddle) little guy when it comes to announcing that he has been invited to a party. You see, one day at the beginning of the year, he came home from school and told me that he had heard in class that the other kids were going to a friend’s party and he told me that he wanted to go as well. I opened his bag and searched for the invitation only to realize that there was none. My heart broke while I tried to explain to him that he had not been invited. The concept was too hard to grasp and he begged me to call the mom and ask her if we could go. I didn’t.

Ever since that incident I make a bit deal out of every invite that goes into his bag. And we made a pact with N. that we would try very hard NOT to miss any party chance there is. Even if it means that we would travel to the end of the world and put ALL our plans on hold.

A few days after the invite, my friend N.K. called and suggested we should reschedule the trip we had canceled a few weeks back due to bad weather and ill children. While we were trying to find a suitable weekend for all, the only available seemed to be the one were Yiannis had his invite. At first we declined N.K.’s offer to spend a WHOLE weekend away but when sense came back to us I decided to ask my son what he preferred in the hope that he might choose wisely. I want to go to the party. No surprise there.

After some blackmailing convincing I did on my part he changed his mind and preferred the and I quote ferry ride, goats, sheep, pigs, friends to play with a whole weekend vs a few hourseating out, taking Benny along. Do you see where I am getting at??

A day before our trip I got an sms from the mom who was hosting the party informing us that her daughter got sick and the party will be postponed until the following Saturday. Great news, I mean awful news for the mom & the kid but WIN WIN for us, we would spend a great weekend away and Yiannis would still go to his party.  The only catch was that it was rescheduled for the Saturday N. & myself had both signed up to attend a workshop at Yiannis’s school. It was then decided that N. would bring the kids to the party & I would participate in the workshop.

The kids had a blast and I attended a great workshop. The topic was: conflict resolution within ourselves. The purpose was to work on ourselves, find all our inner voices (thank God there are others with inner voices), identify them, find the chief voice which will rule out all other (according to circumstances & priorities) and accept that YOU CAN’T DO IT ALL! How wonderful to be reminded. YOU simply CAN NOT DO IT ALL.

Until next time

love,

tatu

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honeymoon gone wrong, part 2

26 Feb

The dream of the honeymoon to Mauritius ended just like that. With a simple phonecall. Dreams of lying on the beach and sipping super extra large tropical fruit cocktails while enjoying the sunset were abruptly crashed. For good.

After recovering from the shock of the shattered honeymoon we continued with the last minute wedding preparations.

It was a GREAT wedding. Not that I can remember much. I was too shocked and too overwhelmed (not too drunk).

We spent the morning after with family and friends and took off late in the evening to return home. It suddenly hit us. We had a week off from work and no place to go. We eagerly looked for the perfect alternative, but who were we kidding??? Mauritius could not be replaced.

As luck has it, the EUROVISION contest took place in Athens the same day we got married. What we couldn’t have foreseen is that all GREAT vacation spots were either fully booked or super overpriced to accommodate the EUROVISION groupies fans.

After researching on the internet for the perfect honeymoon getaway and failing dramatically in doing so, we decided to come to terms with the fact that we couldn’t really find anything great and we settled in finding just ANYTHING where we could enjoy each other and sleep, sleep, sleep (planning your own wedding can be exhausting).

We started our honeymoon in a nice hotel in a semi decadent place with pretty decadent fellow guests. N. didn’t seem too eager to share the pool with the overweight, massive belly owners, black (dyed) hair Russians in their 60s accompanied by their callgirls girlfriends in their early 20s. I, on the other hand, closed my eyes and pretended I was swimming in the pool of the hotel of my dream honeymoon. Full disclosure: It didn’t work.

After three interesting days, we decided to treat ourselves and stay one night at an overpriced super duper 5* wellness and spa hotel. After all, it was our freaking honeymoon.

That was a complete disaster. We now shared a pool with fellow guests in the tender age of 80+ (they were pretty nice, but you see, there is not a lot to talk about when 50 years of age difference are involved). Once we left the spa, N. got an allergic reaction to the chlorine of the pool and got red and itchy eyes and started sneezing something like 1,546 times a minute. Needless to say, we were in full denial at the time and constantly told each other how nice it was.

The night turned into a pure torture as N. got another allergic reaction to the dust in the room (N. & hotel room carpets never go well together) which made us open the window. We spent the following 3 hours chasing a tribe of regular Greek mean mosquitoes that really seemed pretty desperate to suck every ounce of blood we had in our bodies.

The next morning we decided to leave.

We still had three days left. We felt we had enough of Greek hotels and left for good, all time classic, beloved Pelion.

The verdict? When you are in love you cherish each other, no matter where you find yourself at the time. It sure won’t hurt if you find the perfect spot to do so.

What about you? Did you cherish your honeymoon as much as we did??? Bring it on, shamelessly share with me YOUR perfect story! I won’t be jealous (so she says) 😉

Until next time,

love,

tatu

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today a boy stole my heart

17 Nov

No. It was not my boy. It was someone else’s boy.

We went to a birthday party this morning. Both Yianni & Iliana had been waiting for this party the whole week. You see, being able to attend birthday parties during wintertime is something rare. Chances are that either one (or both) of them are down with some sort of  flu. Surprisingly enough, this time we managed to make it.

While I was trying to convince Yianni to mingle with the crowd and terribly failing at it, I saw this boy. A tall boy. A happy boy. A different boy. I stared. I know how rude it is to stare. That is something I try to teach my 2 kids. But you know when you see something different and sad and you just can’t keep your eyes off of it? That is what happened to me. While I was staring I tried to comprehend the difficulties and problems and worries his mom must be going through and I felt so little.

A few minutes later I saw a girl go to him and ask him something. He did not reply. He just smiled. The most genuine smile I had seen in a long time. She turned to his mom with a bedazzled look and asked her: ‘Does he not speak’?  The mom replied: ‘No, he can not speak. But he can give you great smiles. And hugs. He gives the best hugs in the world.’

A profound sadness overcame me. I struggled to hide my over-emotional reaction.  Who was I anyway? How can another mom’s struggle affect me in such an intense way? I ll tell you why. I can not begin to understand what she must be going through. I will not pretend that I can relate and the truth is I do not want to relate. I will let this be a reality check for me and N. and whenever I feel like parenting my 2 healthy kids is difficult I promise I will think of her and her boy with the million dollar smile.

xxx

T

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